Is She Crazy Or Not?
by matchamida
Summary: Lissa just wanted to be helpful for once. Not trip over an old woman that would soon embark on a journey of a lifetime with them. But hey, she's pretty chill to hang around. Sometimes.


LISSA wasn't sure _what_ to think when she tripped over an old woman.

But she does think it was a complete accident.

It's been reported that numerous bandits attacks have razed through defenseless villages in the southern borderlines for the past few days. Phila immediately volunteered for her pegasus knights to annihilate the ruthless foes, but Chrom offered himself and Frederick to take on the task instead.

Lissa, feeling like this is an opportunity to help with _something_ , quickly jumped at the chance to tag along with the two men. Her brother wasn't exactly comfortable about it, knowing that his sister has never faced actual combat. But that changed when Frederick _approved_ of Lissa going because she was also a Shepherd and needed the experience.

The knight's words nearly brought a tear to Lissa's eyes.

And then to top it off, Emmeryn gave her consent. So it was two against one, in Lissa's point of view.

Thus, the three plus Frederick's horse departed the castle and headed to the south. After a few hours, they encountered the first village. It was already in the midst of a bandit raid. Lissa was so _shocked,_ she couldn't move. She could only watch with awe as Chrom and Frederick finished them off within a blink of an eye. That's when she realized that she missed her chance of helping and was probably in the way.

"Don't think you're useless, Lissa," her brother had reassured as she healed the nick on his unguarded shoulder with her staff. It was just cut horizontally above his brand, nearly touching it. Lissa told him to get a shoulder guard, but Chrom refused to get one. She thought he was being dumb. "You're not in the way. Without you and your treatments, there would've been a village full of casualties. And my cut"—he gestured to his shoulder— "would've been infected if you weren't here."

 _Then Frederick would've pulled out a vulnerary out of his pants_ , she almost snarked.

As an reward for driving off the bandits, the villagers offered them what remains they had to stay the night. Lissa complied, tired by the continuous walking and self-doubt.

She planted her face in the pillow, silently mulling over what she can do when they head further south.

 _I'm also a Shepherd,_ _so I gotta give it my all tomorrow!_

Or so she said.

"Auuuugh I'm sooo tiiiired," Lissa moaned as she shuffled forward with sore feet. She felt like they're going to fall off any moment. "Let's take a breaaak!"

"Patience, milady," Frederick told her, leading his war horse by the reins. "Your complaints would only tire you more."

Chrom glanced at her in quiet amusement. However, he listened to her request. "I suppose we have no choice," he mused, squinting ahead. "We're almost at Southtown. We'll take a break there."

Lissa immediately perked up. "What? Really?!" she gasped, claasping her hands in glee. "Great! Sure, working hard is important, but so are taking breaks. C'mon, let's go!" With new-found life blooming in her feet, she eagerly skipped ahead through the tall grass with energetic springs in her steps.

"Wait, Lissa! Slow down, you're going to get hurt..."

Lissa waved off his words as she hummed a tune, thinking about the food she'll eat. Maybe some dark meat that was cooked medium well—

"Ahh!" Her foot smacked something hard and she tripped, hands in front to catch the ground before her head does.

"Lissa!"

"Milady!"

"Owwwww what was that? Ugh." As she spat out any specks of possible dirt, Lissa sat up. But she stopped when her eyes spotted a cloaked figure lying stiff in front of her.

"C-C- _Chrom_!" she shrieked, frantically crawling away as her brother and Frederick arrived. She finally scrambled up and latched onto Chrom's arm. "There's a b-body!"

"What?!" Chrom's eyes widened and immediately sprung to action. He crouched down, examining the person and reached for their wrist to check for any pulses. "Still alive," he murmured with relief, releasing his hold. "But what could have happened...?"

"If I'm not wrong," Frederick began with narrowed eyes, staring down with great suspicion, "that cloak represents the Grimleal. Perhaps they are a spy from Plegia."

Chrom didn't answer and Lissa bit her lip as she stared down. The stranger's hood covered their face and curiosity took over her. She bent down to move it slightly.

"Lissa, don't—" Chrom began with disbelief.

Ignoring his words, she peered. Soft wrinkles like a dry prune scattered across pale skin was the only thing she saw before Chrom yanked her away.

"Chrom, it's an old lady!" she gasped.

Again, his eyes widened. "What? An elder?"

"Yeah," Lissa nodded. The cleric carefully searched for any abnormal signs, but it appeared that the old lady was only sleeping. No stains of blood, no ragged breaths, but _sleeping_. She told Chrom, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Then why would someone go out and nap in the open?" he wondered.

Lissa stared at the body. They... they have to do something.

"Chrom... we have to do _something_ ," she said.

"What do you propose we do?"

Lissa drew a blank. She wanted to do something, but she didn't know _what_. "I... I dunno—"

"Aiiii you kids just can't leave an old lady alone, can ya?" a scratchy croak jumped in.

The princess flinched. Chrom and Frederick started as the stranger fidgeted and mumbled incoherent words. Finally, they became clearer.

"Young man," the old lady was saying. Her voice was smooth, each of her words ended with a barely noticeable wisp. But at the same time, it had an endearing croak to it. "Would you do me a favor and help these old bones up?"

"O-of course." Lissa noted how weirded out her brother was. She didn't blame him though. She'd be freaked out too.

Chrom held out his hand and the old lady slowly, _slowly_ grasped it. With gentle care, he pulled her up and she sort of stumbled into him from the momentum. Chrom held her shoulders to steady her and she gave out a low snort.

"Are you trying to seduce me, Chrommy boy?" she demanded, gesturing to his hands. "You're too young for me."

"Wha—" Lissa widened her eyes as Chrom choked on air and took an instinctive step back. "N-no, I—!"

The old lady suddenly cackled, her dry lips revealing pearly white teeth flashing with glee. "I'm pulling your cape, boy! Let's lighten up, shall we?" She gave out a content sigh and turned her head to view her surroundings.

"So...," Chrom managed with a cough, "I take it that you know who I am?"

"I do?"

"You said my... name," he explained with a hint of exasperation, "just a moment ago."

The old woman's smile dipped into a worried frown. "Oh dear, have I? How peculiar... I believe it just appeared in my mind."

"Er, really," Chrom said with disbelief. "That is a bit strange. But tell me, ma'am, what is your name? And what brings you here to this field?"

"Ah." The old woman's face softened to a relaxing one. "You can call me...," she paused and her mouth pulled back a wince. "Odd, I... can't. I can't remember. Nor do I recognize this place."

"Really?" Lissa automatically asked, shutting her mouth once she realized how rude that sounded. "I—I mean," she stuttered, "does your head hurt? Maybe that could be a reason."

"Nope," the old woman piped cheerfully, "I feel as bright as the sun, but my mind's a blank."

Next to Lissa, Frederick looked ready to fling his interrogating skills at the old woman. Oh boy, that was never good. Not wanting any trouble to be caused, she quickly acted.

"H-hey, I've heard of this!" Lissa blurted. "It's called... amnesia!"

It didn't really help since the knight already had another offensive retaliation prepared. "I believe it's a load of pegasus dung," he stated coolly with that wary face of his. "We're to believe you remember milord's name but not your own?"

 _Dang it Frederick, she's just an old woman._

But instead of being offended, the old woman smiled with mirth. "You've got a serious one here!" she chuckled, shaking her head. "But my words ring true, sonny boy."

" _Sonny boy_?" Frederick recoiled. Lissa accidentally let out a short laugh at the nickname.

"Joking matters aside," interrupted Chrom, and Lissa could tell he was hiding his own smile behind a serious one, "what if it is true? We can't just leave her here, alone and confused. What sort of Shepherds would we be then?"

And as Frederick blabbed about a wolf and sheep, Lissa glanced at the stranger.

The old lady pursed her lips, scanning Lissa from underneath her hood. Then cracked a smile.

"When I look closely, I can see you're so adorable!" she whispered brightly.

Pleased, she giggled with delight. "Thanks!" she whispered back.

The two faced front just before Chrom noticed they weren't listening. "It's been decided that you'll come with us to town," Chrom finalized. Lissa saw Frederick was still skeptical.

"Very well," the old woman shrugged, easily agreeing with the plan. "I really have no other choice. I trust you youngsters will help me."

"Of course—I promise we'll hear all you have to say back in town. Now let's get moving. Are you able to walk, ma'am?"

"I don't know, was that an offer to carry me bridal style?" the old woman retaliated with a smug grin.

Chrom choked on air again. Frederick grimaced darkly at the thought. Lissa laughed at her brother. The horse snorted sadly because she was feeling left out. The old woman smiled at the bonds that were clear between the three. Four, if you count the horse.

* * *

FREDERICK was brutally torn.

While one part of him was full-blown wary of the obviously (Plegian!) old woman, another respected the elderly.

Even though the elder in front of him was a half-psycho.

But right now, he decided that the situation was much, _much_ worse than he expected because said Plegian was currently pinching both of his cheeks in front of his sworn lieges.

"Why, you are such a charming gentleman!" the old lady cooed. She stood in front of him, her rough fingers probbing on his face. "Being such a hard worker to these people."

He picked a god and prayed.

Nearby, his companions were trying their very best to not burst out laughing. Lissa gave in first, snorting and giggling. Chrom came soon after, clearing his throat to disperse his smile.

After what seemed like agonizing hours, the old (Plegian!) woman released her grip and smiled cheerfully. Apparently she took satisfaction from humiliating him in front of his lord and lady.

"I believe a question slipped my mind," she said to his lord as the knight himself suffered from cheek pain. "Am I to be with you forever as a prisoner?"

They continued to walk again. She went up ahead to waddle next to his lady while he thanked the heavens.

"Once we get to Ylisse and confirm you're no enemy of ours, you'll be free to go," the prince explained.

Frederick saw the old woman tilt her head in uncertainty. The wrinkles around her mouth wrinkled even more as she spoke up again.

"Ylisse," she tested. "We are in... Ylisse?"

Now Frederick was internally shaking his head, eyes flattening into a glare at her. Now the old woman was trying to play them all for fools! If she thought she can manipulate them, she can think again—

Chrom noticed his silent hostility and sent him a light warning in his eyes. _Frederick, please_ , he mouthed.

The knight inwardly huffed, but stayed silent like he was requested to. "Yes, this is the Halidom of Ylisse. We're near the border and currently making our way to the nearest town to check on the townsfolk. Oh, we haven't introduced ourselves yet, have we? You already know my name—"

"Chrommy," she said.

"Er, it's Chrom," he corrected.

"Nyeh."

"...Right. This here is my delicate little sister, Lissa."

Lissa stopped in her tracks and furrowed her brows. "Stop calling me delicate when I'm not!" she retorted, crossing her arms. She turned to the old woman with a huff. "Just ignore what he says, please. He's so thick-headed."

"Aw, he's just teasing you, m'dear," the old woman stated sweetly. "That's just his way of saying how much he adores you."

Lissa wasn't convinced. "Uh-huh. But anyway, you're lucky the Shepherds found you. Lots of bandits have been around here lately and they would've been a rude awakening!" She shuddered as the old woman tilted her head and looked behind Lissa.

"I don't suppose you mind me asking for the sheep?" she joked.

"Shepherding is a not a job to take lightly," Chrom chuckled. "Just ask Frederick the Wary here."

"A title I shall wear with pride," he said. He was so damn Proud of that title with a capital P. He's kept that title since he was a sperm in his father's ballsacks. He'll keep it forever and always, from the womb to the tomb. "Gods forbid one of us keeps an appropriate level of caution. I have every wish to trust you, ma'am, but—"

"Oh, look at those pretty birds! There, the ones perched in that tree."

Frederick suppressed a sigh but glanced in her indicated direction. Two robins chirped sweetly at them, a lovely tune tickling at his ears. The old woman whistled the same tune in response and to his surprise, they flew _towards_ her. She eagerly held out a palm, the bigger robin settling first before hopping aside to make room for its companion.

"Whoa...," Lissa marveled in awe at the brown birds. "That's so cool!"

"Impressive," Chrom added. "Quite a sight to see wild birds attracted to a person."

Impressive indeed. Like Chrom said, it was unusual to see stray birds summoned upon a human's voice. A show like this would only appear in a circus. But...

So _suspicious_! She's immediately bonding with these birds. No two birds would casually let a human touch them. Goodness, she was already stroking their heads with a practiced motion.

Unless...

He opened his mouth.

"Should we not check to see if they're messenger birds?"

The royals' eyes immediately dimmed.

"Frederick, please."

"Frederick, we always appreciate you looking out for us."

"Sonny boy, when we get to the village we can find you someone faithful."

"Fred the Rick mah man, you're a cool guy and all, but ya really need to take a chill pill."

The other three and the horse said in unison.

"..."

There was a pause.

"I only empathize caution," was all he said.

The birds hopped on the old woman's shoulder, and she dropped her arm. "Let's continue," she said. "I suppose these little ones will stay on me as long as they like. Though, they'll probably leave soon."

Her words were true, and the birds flapped away in the sky without a chirp. "See," she smiled.

"Dang. I wanted to hold one," Lissa lamented.

"Then you should have told me," the old woman exclaimed incredulously.

Things were calm after that. They trekked through the grass, the old woman's eyes absorbing every piece of scenery she could scavenge.

"Say," she suddenly said, "after meeting those birds, I may have an inkling of what my name is."

Frederick wanted to _shake his head._

"And that is?" he pressed.

"Robin," she announced.

"Uh, was it because of those birds?" Lissa voiced everyone's thoughts.

"Robin" looked at her quizzically. "I think it _is_ my name," she insisted proudly. "And if it isn't—and it is—then one of you three can give me a name."

Frederick's horse neighed.

"One of you four," she corrected herself.

"Strange as the name 'Robin' is, I believe it suits you," Chrom smiled.

Robin gave him a flat look. "Cease your shameful flirting this instant, young man."

"Oh my _gods_ —"

" _Chrom_!" Lissa shrieked, pointing.

The playful atmosphere vanished. Frederick inhaled sharply as his eyes soaked in the sight. In the distance, smoke and brilliant flames curled above Southtown.

It looked like a campfire.

"Oh my, the town!" Robin was _shook_!

"No doubt, it's the work of those blasted brigands," Chrom scowled. "Frederick, Lissa! Quickly!"

The horse pawed the grass, itching with anticipation. "Y'all don't know how long I've been waitin' for some action!" the armored horse whinnied as her master and Lissa mounted.

Frederick was still distracted, however. He watched how erotically the orange flares danced. Those flames were practically calling him to come over so they can lick him!

He snapped out of his thoughts. The townsfolk were in danger; this was no time to be having such impudent thoughts!

"What about her?" He gestured to Robin, whose eyes were fixed upon the town with a hard look.

"We'll come back for her when this is over."

"Aptly put, milord."

"Let's go already!" With that, Lissa used her boot to kick the horse's flank.

The horse's nostrils flared. "Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would've slaughtered you." She trembled with suppressed fury as she galloped to the burning town, with Chrom on her tail.

* * *

Never in his life has CHROM been called a whippersnapper.

You gotta admit, it's pretty hilarious if you think about it.

It was just after he wedged Falchion out of the bandit's chest and scanned around for the next one. For a moment, he saw Robin flouncing around in the middle of a burning stall, maniacally admiring the displays of charred books and prodding them with a curious finger, while cackling like a satanic witch as if she relished the books' dying pages.

Chrom's mind went blank.

What even — no.

No, no, no.

No.

Not only is that unsettling, but impossible. She should be waiting back in the fields where they left her. Besides, she was an old (eccentric) woman; she couldn't have the speed to be here already. Nor would she be _flouncing_ of all things.

He quickly rubbed his eyes and squinted. She was gone.

A sigh of relief escaped him as he felt a weight off his chest. He wasn't sure whether to be assured at the fact that Robin wasn't here, or that the smoke from the fire was making him see things.

"Chrom!" At his far right, Lissa sat atop of the horse, reins in her hands. Her staff was secured on her back. Black soot patched her face and dress, but all Chrom all saw a determined princess with an unwavering fire in her eyes, burning stronger than the flames around. He wondered where Frederick was and saw the knight in question was even further; he was a shiny silver speck slashing a bandit down.

"Frederick and I are gonna go help the people at the east! Catch up when you can!" She left before Chrom could react.

He trusted Frederick with Lissa, but it doesn't mean he couldn't be worried about her. He started to run around, surveying and calling out for any stragglers. There were none. With this confirmation, he turned to go to where his companions were when something caught his eye.

A small figure was slowly shuffling away from an incoming bandit that was heading in their direction, axe ready in his hands.

"No!" Chrom yelled, sprinting to them. "Watch out!"

"Whaddya say?" They turn their head to him and —

Oh gods.

Oh gods, is that.

Is that Robin?

It is.

Oh Naga.

That's Robin.

That's _Robin_ , the old woman they found in a field just earlier.

 _Here._

About to be _killed._

Oh gods.

Chrom's legs faltered for a good second but soon he sprinted faster than the wind.

Because Robin had _stopped_ shuffling.

"Whaddya say?" she repeated.

"Watch out!" Chrom cried back in horror.

" _Whaaat_?"

"By the gods—w _atch. Out_!"

"Speak clearly, boy! These ears don't work like they used to back in the day! I think!"

Chrom wanted to scream because he wasn't going to reach her in time and she was going to die by the hands of the enemy. He hasn't even known her for two hours and yet, he felt a strong connection with the old woman as though she was the grandmother he never knew.

Quickly swiping up a stray rock, he took careful aim and lobbed it at the bandit. The small object sailed through the air and smacked the target on the head.

Except the bandit was already dead on the ground.

"Wha—?"

"Chrommy, ya whippersnapper!" Robin scolded loudly with an open tomb in her hands. It crackled and snapped with hazardous bolts, causing menacing shadows to flicker on her aged face. "Hasn't your mother taught you not to throw rocks at people? Kids these days..."

Falchion nearly slipped from his hands in shock as he stumbled to a stop at her side. "Y-you can use tomes?!"

Robin paused and glanced at the hissing book in her hands. "Oh ho! I _can_ use tomes!" she exclaimed with delight. "Now, let's see..."

 _Let's not_ , the prince thought grimly. He decided to stay behind the old woman.

"They're much better than your pointy metal sticks," she said brightly. Then she frowned as several bandits came into view, and Chrom instantly positioned himself. He glanced around. Damn, they managed to surround him and Robin. Should he go to the ones in the fro—?

"Now let grandma protect her children."

"Er, what—?"

"eIIIIYAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed she.

Chrom opened his eyes so wide he thought they'd fall out of his sockets. Not that _that_ was his priority at the moment because Robin was emitting golden light and her tome was practically dripping lighting! Small yet thick yellow bolts trickled down the spine of the tomb, dropping to her feet and scampered as if they were mice. Magic circles coiled around her frame and her outstretched wrist; the energy radiating caused her cloak to flap wildly.

Even the enemies shuffled nervously at the sight of the glowing old woman.

"You idiots, it's just an old bi—"

"Languaaage!" Robin raged.

The next thing Chrom knew, she uncurled her fingers. "Thunder!" she cried.

The bundle of electricity zipped from her fingers to hit three bandits in front of them. They didn't even have time to scream as they blasted back from the impact and collided with a market stall, crushing it to oblivion.

That's a _Thunder_?

He had to admit, he wasn't particularly knowledgeable about tomes, but there is no way that's a Thunder. Or maybe Robin had an unusual amount of magic power and overcharged her tome? Some sort of magical logic, he assumed. Maybe Miriel can provide him an answer. But knowing her, she'd take a while.

"Ya whippahsnappah!"

Chrom wondered how quickly he reacted to that.

"Don't just stand there!" Robin had turned around and moved to pinch his cheek. "Help an old woman out!"

"Ow-keh!"

Together, the two fought off the remaining bandits, with Chrom at the front and Robin as his support. She would make noises of disapproval whenever Chrom didn't finish a bandit properly and had to swing again.

"No one deserves an agonizing death, you wanker!" Robin bellowed. "Don't waste your time bleeding them, kill them quickly!"

To hear those words made him think for a moment. She was so used to death and killing already?

"And that's the last of the lot." Robin stuffed away her worn tome and dusted her hands. "Oh dearie me, look at all the corpses."

Chrom resisted to say that she was the cause for most of the bloody bodies strewn about. "Robin, what are you doing here?" he asked tiredly instead. "Not that I don't appreciate your help, I certainly did. But I didn't expect you to follow us. You could be safe away from this. What if you got hurt?"

"But we won!" Robin declared triumphantly. "And we'll win the next one. Where are Lissa and Freddy?"

"Rob—" he decided to let go of the matter and sighed. "According to Lissa, they're at the east. Robin, this is an order; stay here, and don't involve yourself in anymore battles. I don't want you getting wounded."

With that, Chrom left Robin to aid Lissa and Frederick.

* * *

Robin squinted at Chrom's running form. "That boy has absolutely no manners," she huffed. "What kind of young man orders an old woman to stay in a sea of bloody corpses! Ohhh wait until I get my hands on him..."

She marched to the east.

* * *

I have returned. You may know me as the author of Lookin' at the Bright Side. My soul is gone. It hasn't been updated for a year and I wanna continue it but! Writer's block, no motivation, and school :(((( I've written so many scenarios of my manly robin but those take place in later chapters.

But this fic! You might've read those fics where robin is either a child or middle-aged. So I had a "what if" robin was a granny lmao. I've had it in my drafts since May 2016, and 2000+ words were written! I found it again recently and I'm like, "should I?"

So this piece is probably a one time thing, but if you guys are really interested, give me a heads up and I'll consider it. If I do continue it, I'll have to plan ahead because,,,, come on, Validar isn't that old,,, i ain't got no clue how to incorporate the whole grima thing and there's morgan too,,,

Also, tell me which point of view you enjoyed! When I started Lissa's, I was kinda serious about it. In the official fire emblem comic/manga, it's shown that the patrol begins with Lissa doubting her capability and tripping over the avatar. I used some of the quotes and tweaked them here and there.

Fred's perspective,,, it was wild, man. wanted to avoid writing his character so i noped out in the best way i could. Remember to leave a review! I love to hear from you guys!


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